OK. I can't go on like this, keeping one side in shadow. It'll be hard but I think D deserves recognition of his fear and isolation, what he was carrying along for so long. I believe this also will help me putting things behind.
1994 and 95 were the hardest years for him, I think: just found out his illness and was away from home (we were in Japan).
Ready? An entry in '95.
_________________________________________________
No one can pick me up, patch me up. Boy. Boy,
funny boy, sad boy. I spin me round, I look at the sky.
My disease is warm in my belly like a baby in the womb.
I want to work, work, make some mark before I die.
The tumbling innumerable births and deaths in me, in the spinning world.
_________________________________________________
I find this helpful to me.
ReplyDeleteI hope you are not just saying that.
ReplyDeleteLet me know if you can't bear, I'll stop.